Healing: The Choosing

Choice: an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities

To me the first step in healing is making the choice to heal. Deciding and saying, “From this day forward I no longer wish to stand in this pain, mind frame, physical state, and anything else that showcases the struggle at hand with me. I vow to take this journey no matter how long it takes.” This is probably the hardest step.. why? Let’s dive into it. Even though we want this hurt, pain, and anger to go away it’s hard to turn away from it when it’s all you know… a forced comfort zone. You know how to handle it, laugh at it, balance it in the best way you can, and go about life. In reality you have to break a cycle you know so well to get to something new and a lot of us are scared of the unknown. Scared of the darkness we have to step into to become better. The same way the earth started in darkness based on biblical studies, the Big Bang theory, and just simply a baby in the womb or a seed in the ground.. darkness is the shift to a greater light. You thought that taking that step into darkness would be holding you back or hurt you; when it’s waiting on you to explore and create a new light. Now creating that new light is down the line, but stepping foot into that darkness and realizing you deserve this healing is a must. Some of us, plenty of us, subconsciously don’t deem ourself worthy of this growth, like you’re guilty. Like whatever in your past lead to this state of your life and nothing more can come. Choose to see the guilt and move forward. Guilt is part of the reason most women don’t orgasm during sex as well as unhealed emotional trauma, but that’s not today’s topic. It just goes to show how guilt takes away the pleasures of life which includes deciding to heal. Now I’m not saying this like it’s easy because it’s not. It’s literally like doing this blog. Creating a title, changing the title, starting a paragraph, but not liking the words. Fixing the errors I missed the first round, ensuring I stuck to the theme, but pull you all in to how other things coincide with it. Finding a picture that best represents my theme, title, and words. Then boom finding the best way to end it. Then another idea comes then now we’re starting over. That’s the healing process summed up because sometimes this pain, hurt, is in layers and you have to go piece by piece. Sometimes you even relive it, but you have to remember this is for you. Yea seeing a better mom for your kids is cool, but this is for you. Of course being a better wife/ spouse of any form makes for a better house, but this is for you. When you’re good anything attached to you is good. Ladies children are easily swayed when they get what they want and need, just because those babies are good doesn’t mean you don’t take the step to heal. Just because your husband is home and faithful and pays the bills doesn’t mean you don’t have hidden trauma. Why did a say children and spouse, usually people use those things as crutches to think they have healed and yet they don’t. Because anything not for you YOU doesn’t last as long. So CHOOSE to heal or not it’s your choice. But if you choose to do so I send my genuine love and support.. because we’re on this journey together that’s why I invite y’all to my Inherg ❤️