Is THIS Who I Am?

Lately I’ve been wondering if I am who I want to be or a caricature of what I should be. I could be alone on this, but  just hear me out. I’m starting to see that all of the “goals” I had fell through, because they weren’t authentic to me. I made a lot of decisions based on things I heard my parents, grandparents, and other family members say. (School also played a role in this) At one point I thought that person really was me, she felt so familiar. It’s not like she wasn’t me but she was different. A constant fight to perfecting this version of myself. It wasn’t until recent that  I looked at how far I was from who I truly wanted to be, and now I’m coasting. Unsure of what’s my idea and the ideas of others. It wasn’t until recently I realized how easy it was to get lost into what others think would be best for you. Allowing people to place you in a box that yields you. Dealing with the thought of disappointing them thinking it is yourself!  Whole time you can’t really flourish because you are living a life that isn’t really yours. That never was yours to start with. Now it’s time to step outside of the expectations and live. I’m not saying waste yourself away I’m saying truly get to know yourself and do what you want. Now let’s keep it realistic boo. Prayer, meditation, and self reflection will aid you into becoming yourself. It won’t be easy, because at my big ole age this will be tough. I’m so stubborn.