I Wanted You to Love Me. Poems of a love lost.

I wish you could love me, but this isn’t fair

I get mad sometimes, even at God cause you’re not here.

I wish I could’ve acted sooner and been more aware

But you hurt my feelings and my heart wouldn’t let me back there.

If it was up to me I’d bring you back for a day

So I could tell you I love you to your face

Since then I hold on to people I love not wanting them to go

Cause I know what it’s like to lose someone you’ll never see anymore.

I wish I had more so you wouldn’t have changed your views on me.

I was working so hard, but that wasn’t something you could see.

All you saw was that I didn’t have it yet

It made me feel like I wasn’t enough or I was worthless.

It made me work harder and dream less.

At Times I wish I could do that moment over, but I know can’t

Now that I’ve grown I want to show you how much has changed.

But every since that day you’ve never looked at me the same

I wish I didn’t love you before I got you cause I knew you could break my heart

I just never knew you could take it that far

I saw us as a family I know that’s why it hurts the worst

But to embarrass me in front of woman cut me down the most

Why couldn’t you love me for me?

Why did you pressure me to change, but you missed the old me?

You say that hurt i you, but why not let me go?

I guess I bruised your ego and you had to even the score..

I hope breaking me gave you what you needed, cause I lost pieces of my sanity

I wish your friend didn’t force into me

Then telling people he made love to me

Or more so sex with me

I wish I could’ve pushed him off or fought more but no one was around or could hear my cry or my roar

Why he didn’t stop?

Why did he pushed down on me as I pushed?

Then tells people we “smushed”

Its sick that just because a man has a rep nobody wants to think he’s capable of rape

But ladies it’s time to speak up and I hope the young lady from Facebook wins her case

I wish I could forgive you

Idk why, but it’s so hard... I guess I expected you to be there as I grew.

One man I expressed my dreams to and wish I could tell you about the things that have come true.

When I deployed I wish I could tell you about that journey you would love this version of me, but I pushed you away. I was so mean.

But I wasn’t emotionally intelligent I wish I knew when you said sorry you meant it

Or that I showed you what I was really feeling.

I just didn’t want you to leave again, but I pushed you out anyway and I wish I had the words to say

I never regretted anything, but if I did it would be forcing you to say goodbye again.

I wish I knew what changed, what made you feel a different way.

I wish I really knew cause my heart wants you

You said I did nothing but I don’t believe it’s true I also feel it’s another person that better suites you.

I saw it with my own eyes and it made me think I pushed you away

I also know I’ll never know the truth anyway.

Maybe you said it to be nice, so you wouldn’t hurt my heart.

You saw I was a sweet lady and you knew it wouldn’t get that far.

You’re up there and I’m kinda down here and it would’ve took a bit of work to bring me up to your atmosphere

Why work that hard when there’s less work and more fun ?

I just wish I wasn’t the only one that wish we could run into the sun

But I’ll never let a man tell me no twice

I guess my soul knew that would be the last time and that’s why the tears met my eyes

I hope you can forgive me for hurting you. Looking back at everything we’ve been through.

I’ll never hurt you again and I promise to be a better friend.

A better lover and a healthy lover I’ll never put you underneath another again.

You’re the one no matter what the outcome was or what was said.

Sometimes you have to play the part as the speed bump to real true love

Maybe what you had was what they needed to grow

But damn I wish I would’ve cherished you the most

Cause can’t nobody love you better baby

I wish I knew that then, but that’s why I’ve been way sweeter to myself lately...