Fake Best

Ever be with someone and the feelings are right? I mean ike they make you laugh, give security, light, joy, ask about your day and beliefs, you get lost in conversations, and y'all just connect. They express and show how you being around brings some light to them. Not every moment is sex, but it is just as intense. Don’t get me wrong the sex is amazing. Then those moments are over y’all part ways and it’s like you’re strangers again or they are distant.. it’s so weird because you see their smile meets their eyes when you’re around or stress was lifted, but it seems as though they don’t want you around. However, everytime you link it’s like y’all pick up from where you left off or y’all getting closer… but you don’t understand what’s the issue. You see them and they see you. It’s like you’re a piece of peace, but there’s everything else.. everybody else. Then when you bring it up the way you feel or how you feel unwanted or things you see hurt you it’s, “it’s not like that”, “I never said that”, or proclamations of why you should stay around. Just to go back to the same thing. Pretending like things don’t bother you, walking into a space of them embracing someone else, acting like it doesn’t hurt you, or worse comparing things, forget it people you know nothing about. Waiting on the next encounter to express your “concerns” only to get lost in savoring the moment and the vibe around y’all, because it feels like in that time and space that’s all that mattered. But the thing about being fake best or second best is that it’s…

“I’m tired of being fake besta or second best or I don’t know…”

-Lara Jean Covey Too All the Boys I Loved Before